11.19.2012

36 weeks & 5 days

We spent this morning at the doctor's office. The ultrasound to check my fluid level showed that it had dropped a good amount in just a few days. Since they try not to take any baby before it is 37 weeks, she passed her bio physical profile, she passed the non stress test, & my BP is still good,we will go back Wednesday to repeat the tests. I'm going to guess that I will get to be cut open on Wednesday. Ouch. I'm not ready for that yet. I never thought I'd make it this far, and I especially didn't think low fluid would be the cause for delivery AGAIN. I've thought all along we'd have a November baby and that for sure I'd be holding a baby by  this week-- we will see soon! If my fluid is about the same Wednesday, then most likely I'll repeat the same things again on Friday.
I still can't believe that in this stage with Lucy, she had already been with us for about 7 weeks & was spending her last few days in the NICU. As I laid listening to baby #3's heartbeat today, I was so thankful to have 20 minutes of that sound. This baby isn't something we had planned or even wanted at the time when we found out. The NICU & developmental delays were still lingering in our minds & had worn us out in every way possible. This is still all weird to me! The baby doesn't have any diapers yet because I'm still not comprehending we are about to have a baby. Unplanned pregnancy--hard at any stage in life.I'm sure there's some type of mental correlation of not wanting to bond yet because of the traumatizing experience last time around. But, we might just have ONE more day of being a family of 4 to realize we're having a baby =) ! We are thankful that we are being given this opportunity. We are grateful that there is a plan bigger than ours. And we are happy that life isn't in our timing. Baby #3 will be greatly loved by us and her big brother and big sister. I can't wait to see Lucy realize baby Ella is out of my tummy.I can't wait to see how excited Landon is. We talk about her every day. I'm trying to enjoy these last few days of my last time growing a human inside my body--so weird still! I'm so tired, worn out, and in pain. But I'm trying to stay thankful she is still inside of me & looks to be doing great from the tests!
She is super squished in her ultrasound pictures. There isn't much room to move, and there isn't much space of fluid to squirm around in. We will get another peak at her Wednesday morning sometime with a machine, and very shortly will see the live version ;)
Here is the 36 week belly shot:
I'll try to remember to take ONE more picture Wednesday & add it either way, baby or not.
I'm ready to not be stuck in a spot, not be able to move my legs, and seriously yell from this awful pelvis/nerve/bone/whatever it is pain. I'm just not sure I'm ready to trade it yet for the recovering from c-section pain! Last time wasn't as bad as the first, but I'm afraid that was due to all the pain medication, magnesium & steroids from everything else. 
I'll keep updating this week-- MAYBE even from a post-pardum room! 

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

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