One Week

In one week from tomorrow, my sweet Lucy begins her school years! It was just 2 years ago that we began on the school journey with Landon ( you can replay that HERE ). I feel all the same emotions and feelings. I'm excited, anxious, happy, speechless, and every emotion I can think of. We've been through this before. I know what to expect. It's hard with your oldest -- your first baby-- but this is a hard one too. This sweet baby, that had to come meet us 10 weeks earlier than she should have, is growing up.

I am watching things happen before my eyes that I cried over for weeks in the NICU. I read and heard what could happen , what might not happen, and things that might happen later on. 

Not only were they cried over for the almost 8 weeks in the NICU, but those thoughts don't go away. 

 Something funny happens, and you're at the neurologist getting an EEG. You go to Vandy twice a year for a few years, just to make sure hearing is OK. You know, that is something that MIGHT show up later down the road. You mention 'hyper', and someone reminds you the percentages of preemies with ADHD or ADD.

I remember back to right after I had Lucy. It was about 4 days later, and I had just seen her for the first time. All these thoughts of chances and percentages and disabilities and  difficulties were running through my mind. The only things I could think of was the future when she went to school. I was hurting for what could happen, and I was torn to think she might be teased or bullied if any of these things came forth. And that my poor baby had no choice in being early, and her Momma's body just couldn't hold her, and someone might someday tease her for this. This hurt my heart so much.

But we also know how much of a fighter she is. Our little 2 pound baby turned into a 14 pound 1 year old.  She was a 1 year old who couldn't eat anything but stage 1 baby food. 

She passed through occupational therapy, speech therapy, and feeding therapy. She had finally sat up, crawled, stood, and walked! I pray she will continue to pass through all these milestones that she will come upon. She started a 2 day a week pre-school in January, and loved every minute ( except nap time) of those 5 months.
She loves her friends and she loves to help.
Lucy has turned into such a great little girl. She loves dresses, bows,  shoes, curlers in her hair, headbands, jewelry, and purses. She is so excited about starting school.  We've had school supplies for weeks, her uniforms are ready, her backpack arrived, and there is no talking her into pre-school again next year!

 I remember praying nightly for years over her eyes, and brain, and ears. I prayed over her heart that had 2 holes, and I prayed that she would be able to run with other kids. Here we are, and all of those prayers have been answered. While I'm trying to keep remembering how happy I am for where she is, I'm also letting her go. We are sending her off with someone else to watch over her all day.  I haven't left her with someone else to watch over her all day since the NICU. 

Thankfully we know the people she will be with! She knows names and teachers from Landon being in school,and she might even see him and his friends throughout the day!

I know what makes her nervous, I know how she gets shy,  & I know what hurts her feelings. Mommy won't be there every minute to help, like I have for the past 5.5 years. I can only pray that I truly have done the best to prepare this baby for her next step. I pray that she knows who to go to for help. I hope that she knows what to do when she gets nervous. I see myself in her when she gets shy and nervous, and I still have certain vivid memories of those times in my mind from when I was 4 & 5 & 6. I hate to think of her feeling scared for even a split second. I pray that those instructing her will notice if something pops up, and they will be patient and understanding with her. I know the world is big scary place, and sending your kid off all day isn't always comforting. So pray for this mommy's heart! I will need peace to know that she is cared for and protected and loved.
As we've leaned on through her journey in the past 5 years and 7.5 months, Luke 1:37 reminds us " For with God, nothing shall be impossible". And I am extra thankful I am still here to help her through this new experience. .

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