Ella Ruth-2months

I took all 3 kids to Ella's check-up. Not fun. But it was more fun than when they all 3 had visits in December together, they all got shots :/ 
40% head :) biggest yet. 9 lb 15 oz.  22 3/8 inches. Biggest baby of them all.

Lucy Lu

Some  Most days this little girl pushes me to my limits! She does what she wants. She completely ignores every word that comes out of my mouth. When you tell her to do something, she gives you this look

says no and then smiles at you. Over and over.

This is totally not like her brother was.

I was pretty worried that this new baby wouldn't be as special to me as Luce. I mean, I watched her grow from this

to this

in 2 short years.  I realized when I brought Ella home that I really did miss A LOT. Ella isn't even 6 weeks yet. Lucy was just getting into an open bed at this point.I was almost afraid to think about the pregnancy at all and a new baby because , heaven forbid, we go through 2 months of NICU again and something happen, I didn't want to feel a connection to her. Then I got worried that she would someday think she wasn't wanted, and that since I had been so distant with the pregnancy, it would continue when she got here. But strangely enough I'd love to never put this baby down! :) 

That leaves me with a crazy 2 year old that doesn't get enough attention from me. 

Things have shifted. 

I've gotten so frustrated with her lately. I need a few prayers with this one. I'm sure it's just the terrible twos. But I don't have energy for them most days,& I feel like I'm forcing her straight into middle child syndrome. She will someday ,hopefully, come snuggle with me and hug and kiss me when I ask her to. 

She is a handful right now.

  Hopefully soon, she will listen and obey! =) And hopefully soon, I'll quit wondering if everything she does or doesn't do stems back from me not being able to carry her past 29 weeks.

In this new year, I'll try to play with as many baby dolls, princesses, weeble wobbles ( she calls her Little People that too), pretend picnics, coloring books, and dress up as I can. Even though these first 2 years of caring for sweet Luce has taken so much out of me, I'll try to keep up just as much attention,praise and revel in every milestone she hits!

Baby weight

How absolutely discouraging. I felt like I kept in such good shape during this pregnancy. I ran a half marathon at 8 weeks. I was in the gym 4-5 days a week, at least 40 minutes of cardio & 2 days of free weights until close to 30 weeks. I went at least 3 days a week until 30 something weeks, and then I tapered off to NOTHING around Halloween. I thought for sure this time around I'd be that girl wearing her jeans in less than a month. When I left the hospital with Landon, I still looked 10 months pregnant:

My belly was pretty much a lot smaller this time around, and of course with Lucy I was only 29 weeks along, so it was way smaller anyways. I felt great about the belly about 2 weeks after I came home. BUT I'm pretty sure I've probably gained 5 pounds in the past month. Too many seconds, too many Christmas tree cakes, too much chocolate, too much Taco Bell,and too many snacks. 

And here we are 6 weeks later on Sunday. I'm NOT looking forward to weighing in on Monday at my 6 week check-up. I was assuming I'd lose the 20-25 pounds the first 2 weeks like I did the other 2 times. Well, we don't have a scale. I just wanted to wait and be happy at the Dr visit. So I tried on some jeans the other day because I was feeling skinny. Yeah, um. My thighs and hips are NOT ready for that =) So, I weighed myself Christmas Eve ( MISTAKE) and I had only lost about 16 pounds( I don't have any clue what my total weight gain was because it shot up in the hospital), with 14 left to go ( and then 5+ more to get to this:

*But hopefully this won't take 16 months* This was a week or 2 before my half marathon.

 That made for an emotionally terrible Christmas Eve and Morning.

 I know that most people take forever to lose weight and possibly even have way more than me to lose. I was so upset about gaining weight this time anyways( since it wasn't planned) because I had JUST gotten almost to my goal weight and back into things--hence running the half marathon at 8 weeks. I had worked up to that, and I wasn't going to quit. I only trained up to 10 and ran the 10 miler a month before the half. But I could never run more than 10 on my long run days because I as SO TIRED AND WORN OUT. That is what brought on the pregnancy test. Well, that and going to bed with massive heartburn every night. I only have heartburn THAT bad when I'm pregnant. It started EARLY.

I was just trying to do so much better with staying in shape. I told Luke that I'm not comparing myself to other people. I'm a little upset about it because I'm comparing myself to what I think I should be since I worked SO hard to stay in shape. So, I'm just going to take the number on that scale on Monday and go with it. I'll set my goal and get back into the gym when we move back! I know I can do it. I did it 2 other times, but I DO NOT want to run another half marathon right now. 

UGH 

I am looking forward to trying the gym with 3 kids! I thought I'd try to start out just going at night after they go to bed, and letting Luke hang with them, I've gotten into that routine so much and grew to love the gym from 9-10PM. But I don't think some moms understand the amazingness of dropping your kids off to play and sweating for an hour and a half. I need that time to kill during the day, time to let the kids play and run and work off energy, and I need the 'me' time.

Just music and your workout. 

I'm going to lay off the snacks too.

I don't want any special diet or program.

Don't try to sell it to me.

I did it by eating less & working out before.

Hopefully the thighs and hips will melt away soon enough! 

While I'm waiting, I'll enjoy snuggling with my kids........and wearing sweats, yoga pants, and ball shorts all the time =)

I'll just blame it on this preciousness

--------------------------

2 years ago, I was in a lactation room, pumping for my lil babe, and watching updates on my phone for the Beef 'O Brady bowl game. Last night was much different. My 2 lil babes were asleep, Landon was watching with me & my sister, and we LOVED every minute of the SUGAR BOWL.

Ella's birth

Going back a month and a few days to when I had sweet Ella Ruth....

I was admitted into the hospital Friday the 23rd & by Sunday I had figured out I wasn't leaving until I had the baby. She had been doing fine on all the monitoring( and I was bored OUT OF MY MIND). There was just one time on Saturday night I had to stay hooked up a few extra minutes to the NST because her heart rate dropped too low, but she recovered & looked fine. On Sunday morning I had another ultrasound. Ella ran out of time to get all of her movements & kicks in, so she didn't get 8/8 on the biophysical profile. This was the first time for that. My fluid had also dropped a little below 5cm as well. The nurse got all the details from the ultrasound and called the doctor on-call. The doctor was one I hadn't seen before, of course.
My sister had stayed the night again so she could go to the ultrasound with me & try to decide whether to hit the road back to Orlando or not. We both assumed this meant baby would be coming that day, and she was waiting around to see the baby before she went home. When Luke came up to the hospital, he asked my nurse if she had heard yet from the doctor. She said she had called him and had seen him, but he was delivering and would come see us when he was done. She thought he said most likely no baby, but I'd be staying.  What a huge let down. I'm ALL for keeping the baby in past 39 weeks. I know all the details of when what parts finish developing, and I've seen everything in the NICU. I'm a full supporter of March of Dimes. I also have been close to death from HELLP. And I also had a 5 lb 10 oz baby with no fluid at all at 38 weeks. I just wanted a safe delivery & was praying we would all be healthy as well.
The doctor came in shortly after. He said he didn't have too much knowledge on all the studies on oligohydramnios. He had looked up some more studies before he came in, and most of them said once you hit 5 ,to deliver. We're not too sure where this number came from or why 5cm is the considered the cut off. He also believed that as close as you can get to 39 weeks is better. So after discussing NICU, healthy preemie babies, unhealthy term babies, past issues, and everything else, he left it up to us to decide!
In the back of my head, I was still thinking about BP. I didn't want to keep her in and then the pre-e kick in. I also didn't want this c-section to be emergency like the previous 2. If the fluid dropped too low, it could cause that. I also knew that with constant IV and bedrest, the fluid was not going up or even staying the same.So even though she was not even 38 weeks ( 37 is term) and every day makes a difference, we chose to take her out before anything else could happen. 
Since I had eaten breakfast, anesthesia  said we needed to wait until 6PM. So I had to sit & wait for about  2 hours until I headed back to triage at 4PM. The nurses in antepartum had been great. They were so friendly and caring. The nurses from Friday in triage had been the same way. Both of those areas were great ! I honestly think they saw my chart and freaked out, and that's the main reason they wanted me hanging around. We heard them say SHE SEIZED a million times. We would overhear them at shift change or when a new doctor would see me. We had to go over the previous 2 births so many times.   I cant imagine having to do this after losing a child or having a still birth.
 Once I finally got to triage, we had about 2 hours until the c-section. This was the longest two hours I can remember sitting through. I didn't want to think about the spinal or surgery or even dealing with 3 kids. I was still in denial that I was having baby #3 =) We hadn't even really talked or thought about what she would look like! I was trying not to think about pre-e or HELLP happening after delivery. I was honestly trying to think of how to get out of there and not deal with surgery. And then 6:00 rolled around and the doctor was in with a mom who was pushing. I had my anti-biotics and heartburn medicine in my IV, motion sickness patch, & a shot of sour grape medicine to keep me from throwing up. I didn't have any of the anti-sickness meds with the other 2. I think the nurse said it was just in case-- since I ate earlier. 
 I also had to walk this time to the OR. With Landon I was rolled in a bed, and with Lucy I was rolled pushed in the bed as fast as humanly possible. I still was NOT thinking about surgery, but realized I was not getting out of it. I don't know why I was so anxious about the spinal this time. The nurse asked me the entire 2.5 hours in triage what I was nervous about, so I guess it was obvious. I don't like bending over a pillow and not being able to see what's going on. It doesn't hurt, just the small sting, but I don't like it.  I am ticklish in that back area, and I don't want to jump, and I did. Maybe that's how I ended up with the spinal headache? 
As soon as I sat on the table one of the nurses came in and cranked up the Christmas music, and they started on the spinal, put the drape up, cleaned my belly, pinched me a few times, and called the doctor in to get started! We didn't have any complications during surgery. I remember the doctor saying something about 'very low', & I assumed they meant my scar. But there was no issues with it. Every doctor and nurse compliments my scar (kinda weird), and I'm never sure if it really is done well or if they just want me feel better about having one. Before too long they pulled her out, she screamed and screamed,the tears were flowing, they brought her to the side for me to see, and then she was off to get checked out across the room and daddy followed her. There was only one time that we really talked about what she might look like, and it was with Landon. He said she would have green eyes and red hair--too much Brave? So while in tirage, to get my mind off the nervousness, Luke starts looking up about red heads, and the zodiac sign ( whatever that's called) for her birthday, and we convince ourselves she will be a red head! Well, my baby came out with DARK DARK hair!

6 pounds and 3 ounces--biggest baby of our 3, and only dropped down to about 5 pounds and 13 ounces. While Luke was over with the baby and the nurses, I could hear the tones change from the voices on the other side of the drape.  Then they started talking with the anesthesiologist and telling him that he needed to get it ready, and then a few seconds later to go ahead. He then gave me a shot in my shoulder ( warned me first) and added something to each IV. He said something about my uterus not contracting and that it's common after multiple babies. He stood up and watched over the drape for a few minutes. I have no clue what happened or what shot I got. I know they usually give you pitocin to help it start to contract back down, but that was put into the IV bag. I guess I'll ask at my appointment next week. I do remember they said there was minimal bleeding though.

Luke brought the baby over after that, they sewed me up, moved me to the other bed, and rolled me off to recovery. I had the option to do skin to skin in the operating room-- I was asked about it in triage right before, and it totally threw me off. I didn't know I had that option, and I thought I'd not mentally be wanting to hold the baby during surgery and there just might be too much going on for me. So, I said no. And I made sure the nurse didn't think I was a bad mom for saying that. She seemed to give the impression that it's a newer thing that they do, and it was TOTALLY fine with them if I said no. I'm sure it's more of a hassle to change things up in the OR, and they are use to not doing it. There is my Ella Ruth story. The annoyance with the nurses/hospital experience came with the next few days. I'm sure I'll get around to that soon enough!
Back to packing up the house.........
But first, a look at those hospital pictures. Obviously, I didn't buy them, but here are the previews of some:









Isn't it CRAZY how quickly they change?