I'm laying in bed watching One Born Every Minute. It's a new show on Lifetime, obviously about babies being born. It's filmed in a hospital in Ohio, something like the busiest L&D ward in the US.They have put a bunch of cameras in the hospital, and are showing all views of things. If Luke was here, he'd tell me to change the channel--he would know I will most likely get sad watching women give birth the 'regular' way as I call it. I know a lot of people who just want a c-section, and never want to think about pushing anything out of there! But I think it is the fact that I didn't have a choice either time. Many girls dream of their wedding growing up. I don't really ever remember that. I think I more enjoyed thinking about being a mommy. I got scared and nervous towards the end of Landon's pregnancy and thought that a c-section would be so much easier, and not having to actually DO anything would be great! But then I felt like I missed out on a little something, there is a little bit of an experience of 'giving birth' that I didn't feel like I got, and I think I felt that way because I didn't have an instant in love feeling with him. And then I really really really wanted to try a vbac with Lucy, and it still hadn't been ruled out at the 28 week appointment. Luke says that as much as I wanted it, he is really happy he never had to sit and wait in a L&D room. We do feel like we still got the 'my water broke , let's rush to the hospital' feeling. I don't know if we drove under 80 the whole way there, I was breathing heavily in and out, my window was all the way down( blocking out sweet Landon's talking and because I was ON FIRE even though there was inches of snow outside), & the hazard lights were blinking. Anyways, I will see how I like the show!
I had a great feeding time with Lucy today. I'm so glad that I am able to hold her now instead of the touching that we started out with for the first 5 weeks. Preemies can't take too much stimulation--only 1 thing at a time. No talking and touching at the same time, no patting, stroking, or any of those things.When we could only hold her 20 minutes a day, this is how we spent the rest of our time with Lucy: