Moving on

We've started taking Lucy out more. She usually stays in her carrier away from people, we'll keep this up for just a little bit longer. She has been to church about 3 times now, and has been to Target a few times, but that is mainly all besides the Dr. We're still keeping her away from small spaces that have lots of kids--nurseries, play places, other people's houses etc. But when we are out the questions flow from strangers. It usually starts with ," How old is she?". Some people don't say anything. Either they've never been around babies, or really just don't think anything. The people who usually say " ooohh she is brand new, what is she 2 weeks old?" are the ones with the questions. How big was she? How long was she in the hospital? How big is 2 pounds? How did she fit into clothes? When did you bring her home? Everything is ok with her now though, right? I bet she is big to you now, right?

I've finally been out of the house to hang out with people about 3 times now without Luke. =) Big steps for me. The social aspect of all of this was much harder than I ever imagined. I'm now realizing that I got sick 4 times so far since she has been born ( throw up sick), and she has been here 4 months. Every month the stress and anxiety just built up to a point where I got sick. And I don't get sick. I can count on one hand the # of times ( before her) that I have thrown up. Looking at her pictures from the hospital even made me dizzy for a long time. Thinking back to holding a baby that has stopped breathing, monitors beeping, nurses suctioning out her mouth & stimulating her by talking and rubbing was just too much to think about at some times. Look at this picture, and see if you notice anything:

(Besides her nasal cannula all crazy). Hint: look at her chest. Yeah, some things weren't formed yet on her.And her eye. These things were hard to be ok with while she was in the hospital.

Having a baby that was only alive because she was hooked up to machines is not fun.I imagined that once she was home, it would be fine.Then when people would ask questions once she was home, and it would all come back. It was just easier to not go around people, then I wouldn't have to talk about anything! And if Luke was with me, he could do the talking and I could just walk away. But it is getting easier. So if you haven't see me in the last 4 months, it's either because we don't want to take Lucy to the place where you're at =) or because I'm still working on myself with some help & recommendations from the Dr. and Luke. One of the times I have been out was last week. My wonderful friends had a little shower for sweet Lucy. It was a book and gift card shower! We are so thankful for each of these girls!

A few things came up last minute for a few more friends, and they weren't able to come. Believe me, I understand =) The cake was fabulous also.

Thanks again SO much! And since you all said I am not to send Thank You cards, I hope this is OK ;) We've been keeping up and making sure we do TY cards since right when we had her. Cards, food, gift cards, money, diapers--we made lists and checked off as soon as people gave us things. We were so thankful for ALL of the help, and wanted to make sure you all knew! If we left you out, we are so sorry, but know we are thankful. I think I'm more worried about leaving someone out than the gift givers themselves are. I slipped a card in a purse at church a week ago, and they told me that it better not be a TY card because I'm a new Mom and don't need to worry about that. They are also a new mom, and said they hadn't done them. I was  in Target the other day, and 2 ladies were talking about these cute onesies. One of the onesies said something about 'my aunt'. One lady was joking that when the mom sends out TY cards, she'll thank her for it instead( they were both aunts, and the shirt was prob. about my aunt is cute). Then the other lady said, " I never got a wedding TY card, did you? I don't think she is doing them". So I'm guessing that thank you cards are on the way out. I never really understood them. You tell someone thank you face to face when you get a gift. And you know people ONLY do them because it's what you are supposed to do. BUT this time around we REALLY REALLY were so very thankful and happy for all of the gifts, so we wanted to make sure everyone knows! We've been so blessed with help, and hope that we can be the same to others when they are in need.