I'm still alive !

Well, I made it through the hills of Cherokee Park! I actually didn't run more than 8 miles when training . I , unfortunately , spoke too soon about getting through just ONE race healthy. Somehow I ended up with an incisional hernia on my c-section incision. My OB & my surgeon gave me the go ahead to run ; they just said it would hurt. I didn't train again after a painful 6,7,&8 mile run. I maybe did a few 3 mile runs, so I had no clue how much I would be able to get through. I made it 5 miles before I stopped at a port o potty. As my running pants came down over me, I had that horrible pain . It felt like thousands of needles sticking me at once :( 5 miles I ran & 8.1 I jogged or walked. But I finished. I got some great pizza & a cool medal afterwards .

I'm about 99% sure I won't be running anymore long distance , for fear I will rip this again. I do not want to have this surgery again ! The race was on October 25th , we had a week to finish getting costumes together ,& then I had surgery on November 6th. 

This was an incisional hernia repair with mesh. Basically the layer of tissues & fat between my skin & organs were coming apart where it was stitched up. It can happen for a number of reasons. I'm sure there were many factors as to why I had this issue, but can't say for sure why.  The surgeon opened me back up,  just like another c-section, checked all around for other damage, sewed the inside back up & added mesh to that layer before closing me up. 

For some reason , I'd convinced myself that it couldn't be worse than a c-section. I was wrong. Once I was up walking around after babies, I felt good & didn't have too much pain. Right now ,3 weeks after surgery , I can barely lay or sleep on my sides, I'm just now able to lift my left leg up to put pants on, I can't bend over,& I can't lay down with my knees bent for very long. There is a different pain , a pinch & poke & cramp , that's going on from my skin incision & down -from  thigh to thigh. The swelling is still going down , and the bruises are almost completely gone. 

There was an aspect I didn't even consider going into surgery. There's still a part of me that isn't FULLY ok with having no more babies. Luke doesn't like the chances of my health { or my hormonal craziness}. I was NOT ok knowing I'd have another csection. I did not want another spinal ( that spinal headache after Ella did me in), and I did not want to be cut open and have to recover again. But we just weren't for sure done. I even backed out of my tubal during Ella's delivery. So as I laid in my bed a few days after surgery, I realized really that I was recovering from a c-section. But there was no baby to snuggle. I could have done it again. So that really hit me that my body is done making babies. I won't be cut open again for a 5th time ( Lord willing the stitches & mesh do their job). So there was physical and emotional pain that I wasn't ready for or expecting. But I am still very thankful that I woke up from surgery-- that really was my ONLY fear!

We are almost to the other side now of recovery.Hopefully not too much longer until I'm back to normal , picking up my babies, and back at the gym!

Ellen had her red chairs in town the day of surgery . Nashville was the first stop of her chairs' trip,& you had to find them and take a picture in them. I made Luke stop on the way home so I could try to win tickets. I tweeted that my nurse anesthetist told me that she was sending me to the Bahamas,& she lied . I needed an LA trip. Unfortunately she had no sympathy & did not pick me. But I was drugged up enough to tweet & IG this picture. #winning

I'm running again!

I absolutely hate running. I never thought that anyone could REALLY enjoy it. It's a lie. People have to tell themselves that they love it, or they will quit. I signed up for my 4th half-marathon. Technically, it's my 3rd. 1 of them was on a relay team, and I only had to run 6 miles. But I had just almost died 4 months prior and spent 2 of those months driving back and forth to the NICU, and staying isolated after that for a few months. My first half marathon was 18 months after I had Landon, and I had a stress fracture on my right foot. The last few miles, my foot was on fire. My time was not good, and that was because I had tried to train in about 8 weeks.

 

I thought I'd try it again! The second one I ran, I trained in time, and I stayed on schedule with the whole triple crown of racing in Louisville. There is a 5 K, 10K, and a 10 miler before the half. I did the Papa John's 10 miler, and then training was so hard. I had no more energy after that. I found out later that it was because little Ella was growing inside of me and taking it all! So the last few weeks after the 10 miler, I didn't do any more long runs longer than about 5 miles. I was freaked out to actually run more than I had ever trained ( 10), so my time was of course not what I had wanted.....again. By the time of the half, I think I was about 13 weeks along.

 

My next race is in about 23 days. It's the Urban Bourbon Half Marathon. I might not make it through the hills this course. And the entry cap is much much smaller, so there might not be as many people around to help motivate me.

 

But at least I have lost some more weight, gotten into better shape, set a goal & stuck with it, and will have a cool medal !

 

And at this point, I don't DREAD going to run. I'm still not enjoying it, but it's not as big of  a hate. I should have given myself about 3 more weeks to train, but I've stuck with my schedule pretty much & even ran in California along the beach.

If I'm still around after those hill sin Cherokee Park, I might post some pictures! Wish me luck!

 

 

4 months

It took me so long to post Ella's 3 month pictures because my computer crashed, that she is already 4 months old like one post later. Here is her monthly shot:

I couldn't get down for her to look at me because I was afraid she was going to nose-dive into the corner of the mirror! She isn't the best at holding her head right now. She is trying, and she is working hard on it! She does have a neck under there. Luke wasn't home, so I had to position myself to catch her just in case. She was looking at Landon and laughing =) So cute!

After we took her back to the doctor on Monday--because the on call doctor seemed a little concerned that she was still vomiting -- he got her some medicine to calm down her stomach, and we haven't had any throw up since Monday morning!

 She is just now getting her appetite back. She was weighing in at 11 pounds and 6 ounces about 3 weeks ago, and after being sick she is down to 11 pounds 3 ounces. I'm sure she lost well over a pound.
But you know how toddlers and kids get over a stomach bug and seem to want to eat EVERYTHING IN SIGHT at that very moment. They gain their weight back quickly. Well sweet little girl has decided she is going to SCREAM her head off and cry and yell as if the world is ending today. I think she is hungry finally. It's been a long day, that's for sure! We have a few of those individual packets of 4 ounce formula that I've used. I pumped quite a bit while she was sick because she had several days that she was only drinking pedialite ( I think she got hooked on the taste and really wants some!). But that is all frozen and waiting for a day when Mommy gets to go on vacation. Yep, I'm calling in sick, I'm taking a mental health day, I'm using my yearly vacation days, and I'm using my personal days all at once.( Yes, this really only adds up to like 3 days??!?) And I WILL NOT feel bad about it. Hopefully. I didn't leave Landon until after he turned 1 & Luke was with me. I didn't leave Lucy ( besides the hospital) until about 15 months & Luke was with me then too. This doesn't mean that I don't trust Luke over others to watch our kids. He just hasn't been alone with all 3 of them for more than 2 - 3 hours. I don't think he's gotten them all ready to be somewhere. I've mastered the single mom getting 3 kids fed and to church by 9 AM thing. But we have a totally different understanding of time frames , and how long things take. And like he says, I do this EVERY DAY.
I'm sure he will be alright! But I'm trying to send him off to the country where there might be 3 other adults to help =)

 

I need some help! I haven't even attempted to run since last year's half marathon.

Getting it done ( SLOWLY , look at the people around me) @ 2 months pregnant.

 

Half marathon #3.

I do not like running at all. I  always resort to it because it gets me back into my pre-baby weight and size. I also know if I pay a stupid amount of money to RUN, then I have to train and actually do it. But I ventured onto a treadmill  one day this week. And it only lasted .73 miles. I wasn't tired or hurting at all. But I forgot that I need like 3 sports bras to run after having babies-- especially while nursing! I need a good new running-worthy sports bra!
If I can't get some help , then I'm packing the car up to Atlanta and stopping in at LIVI RAE'S.
Have you seen the show Double Diva's? Honestly, I probably wouldn't have heard of it if I wasn't obsessed with Dance Moms. It comes on right after that. Search for it on Lifetime and DVR  a few. It's funny. Love it!
I'm not wanting to spend a bunch of money on one unless I know it is good. And my Target ones just won't cut it anymore. Apparently, Luke was going to get me a good one for my Easter basket( I must have mentioned it a few times, seriously not realizing it), but he said he went to Academy Sports and had NO CLUE about what to get.
So, leave me a comment. Help me out!

UPDATE: I got several facebook messages and comments. I received this info:
Moving Comfort is the #1 selling sports bra for running. The jubralee and Juno are our top sellers at the store.

Baby weight

How absolutely discouraging. I felt like I kept in such good shape during this pregnancy. I ran a half marathon at 8 weeks. I was in the gym 4-5 days a week, at least 40 minutes of cardio & 2 days of free weights until close to 30 weeks. I went at least 3 days a week until 30 something weeks, and then I tapered off to NOTHING around Halloween. I thought for sure this time around I'd be that girl wearing her jeans in less than a month. When I left the hospital with Landon, I still looked 10 months pregnant:

My belly was pretty much a lot smaller this time around, and of course with Lucy I was only 29 weeks along, so it was way smaller anyways. I felt great about the belly about 2 weeks after I came home. BUT I'm pretty sure I've probably gained 5 pounds in the past month. Too many seconds, too many Christmas tree cakes, too much chocolate, too much Taco Bell,and too many snacks. 

And here we are 6 weeks later on Sunday. I'm NOT looking forward to weighing in on Monday at my 6 week check-up. I was assuming I'd lose the 20-25 pounds the first 2 weeks like I did the other 2 times. Well, we don't have a scale. I just wanted to wait and be happy at the Dr visit. So I tried on some jeans the other day because I was feeling skinny. Yeah, um. My thighs and hips are NOT ready for that =) So, I weighed myself Christmas Eve ( MISTAKE) and I had only lost about 16 pounds( I don't have any clue what my total weight gain was because it shot up in the hospital), with 14 left to go ( and then 5+ more to get to this:

*But hopefully this won't take 16 months* This was a week or 2 before my half marathon.

 That made for an emotionally terrible Christmas Eve and Morning.

 I know that most people take forever to lose weight and possibly even have way more than me to lose. I was so upset about gaining weight this time anyways( since it wasn't planned) because I had JUST gotten almost to my goal weight and back into things--hence running the half marathon at 8 weeks. I had worked up to that, and I wasn't going to quit. I only trained up to 10 and ran the 10 miler a month before the half. But I could never run more than 10 on my long run days because I as SO TIRED AND WORN OUT. That is what brought on the pregnancy test. Well, that and going to bed with massive heartburn every night. I only have heartburn THAT bad when I'm pregnant. It started EARLY.

I was just trying to do so much better with staying in shape. I told Luke that I'm not comparing myself to other people. I'm a little upset about it because I'm comparing myself to what I think I should be since I worked SO hard to stay in shape. So, I'm just going to take the number on that scale on Monday and go with it. I'll set my goal and get back into the gym when we move back! I know I can do it. I did it 2 other times, but I DO NOT want to run another half marathon right now. 

UGH 

I am looking forward to trying the gym with 3 kids! I thought I'd try to start out just going at night after they go to bed, and letting Luke hang with them, I've gotten into that routine so much and grew to love the gym from 9-10PM. But I don't think some moms understand the amazingness of dropping your kids off to play and sweating for an hour and a half. I need that time to kill during the day, time to let the kids play and run and work off energy, and I need the 'me' time.

Just music and your workout. 

I'm going to lay off the snacks too.

I don't want any special diet or program.

Don't try to sell it to me.

I did it by eating less & working out before.

Hopefully the thighs and hips will melt away soon enough! 

While I'm waiting, I'll enjoy snuggling with my kids........and wearing sweats, yoga pants, and ball shorts all the time =)

I'll just blame it on this preciousness

--------------------------

2 years ago, I was in a lactation room, pumping for my lil babe, and watching updates on my phone for the Beef 'O Brady bowl game. Last night was much different. My 2 lil babes were asleep, Landon was watching with me & my sister, and we LOVED every minute of the SUGAR BOWL.

I have to stop ending my 4 mile runs at 10:30 P.M.! It's now 2:17,& my kiddos will be up & ready to play in 5-6 hours. And then we do it all over again because I don't get done with swim lessons until 6:45, and I need to get some cardio in after. I've been doing this 5 hour sleep thing for over a year now. Dr Travis Stork says that is the cause to my belly fat-- not my bag of popcorn at midnight. ;) I need an outdoor pool. I need some quiet time. I need the sun. Ah, I just need a weekend break! Soon and very soon, I hope. . .

2 miles down....

352.1 left until I am done training for the Derby Festival Mini Marathon.

baby steps & running shoes

FINALLY, after 3 weeks of trying cereal with Lucy, she is pushing it to the back of her mouth ! She is able to eat a lot more than a tablespoon, and I don't have to wipe it all off her face, put it back in her mouth, and take a good 5+ minutes to eat all of it. We will start with a veggie this week. I'm hoping to meet up with a friend to steam, puree,  freeze a good amount for our babies.

Luke got me a new pair of running shoes!Which means I need to start running again for real? At least I have a new pair of workout shoes at least. As gross as this is, I never thought about it until a few years ago on Oprah that wearing the same shoes you work out in is NOT acceptable to wear around anywhere else. That's actually gross. Especially if you have sweaty feet-stinky or not. In high school and college, we had shoes that we played in. But I did no other working out other than with the team. Then in basketball league since then I've had shoes to play in, but I didn't work out in them. Anyways, just know when you see me that I didn't work out in the same shoes I'm wearing . I got my last pair before the Mini marathon in 2010. I'm sure I put the mileage on it recommended before getting another pair. I wore these today for some cardio & I love them too! Landon hasn't had a pair of tennishoes since around the spring. We were just going to let him wear his dress shoes and

flip flops until the fall. But we hit an awesome sale at Swag's--on accident really. We were drinking coffee at McDonald's & letting the kids play, and we saw the line wrapped around the building, all the boxes stacked, and realized what was going on. We bought mine and Landon's for almost 1/2 of what I paid for just my running shoes last year. YAY!

 

Running with purpose!

The Derby Festival Mini Marathon and full marathon were April 30th. I ran with the Run with Purpose relay team. It was a great day, and I had a wonderful time! the legs were split up into a 10k, 5k, 10k, 5k, and a little over 7 miles.



About 2 miles into my run, still smiling because I hadn't hit the 3 miles of hills yet ;)



I had a long blog posted about it, but am not quite sure where it went! I would love to do the relay again, and train a little more next time. My 10k time was not even close to 'good', but the experience was good, and it was all to raise money for Will and Audrey's mission work, and it was worth it all. I had a great time meeting some new people at my leg of the race, and also meeting some G.O. ministry people too.



Waiting after leg 5 to join the rest of the team across the finish line!

The team, minus Ashley, after the race.

After the race I went home and took a nice long nap. I didn't get much sleep the night before from driving in from Nashville & feeding Lucy throughout the night. After I woke up from my nap, my grandpa was out our house and we ate a good steak dinner! We hung out on the patio talking about everything with him from air conditioners ( ours had just gone out) to his training in Ireland. At that point it was getting late, and I hadn't had any caffeine yet in the day, so we took a short trip to Starbucks before hitting the hay! We went to church Sunday morning before meeting up with Audrey and Will for a few minutes,eating lunch, and heading back to Nashville before we left for Florida the next day. The marathon weekend was great!

And if you'd still like to donate money to G.O. ministries, let me know! I will let you know how to make that possible.

Derby Festival Mini-Marathon!

I finished 13.1 miles!

The mini marathon is over, and I'm still alive. I went to bed late the night before ( screaming child), and woke up just about every hour the entire night. I was so anxious to get out there and just get it over with. I woke up around 6ish, ate an orange, got dressed, and headed out with Amanda and my Dad. He dropped us off close to the start line, and I had a terrible stomach ache, and headed straight to the porto- potties ( sorry if it's TMI). The lines were SOOOO long, we stood there for at least 15 minutes, and left because it was 7:15, and we wanted to head to the starting line.I was SO nervous to start the race all by myself, but was mentally ready for it! I didn't let any of the " what am I doing?!?!" or " I CAN'T DO THIS!" thoughts into my head at all, and knew I had to finish! The only bad thought I had was "OMG, when will I be able to stop and use the bathroom?!?!"

The first mile was spent dodging walkers. How they got into corral B & C, I have no clue! My pace was right at 10 minutes the first 2-3 miles. I hadn't trained on ANY hills, so mile 2-4 being in the park with hills slowed me down a little bit. I love the FCA posters with bible verses on all of them up until their power aid station! They made me smile. I also loved that most of the water stops had mini water bottles, so I carried them almost until the next stop, and drank all along the way. Once we got out of the park, the drizzle had turned into a little harder rain. I saw some potties right outside the park, debated stopping, THEN saw like 15 people in line. I didn't wanna add THAT much time on, so I kept going. I saw some people along Southern Parkway that we knew, and said a little "hi" as I ran past. Then around mile 6, the sun came out, and the drizzle stopped! I was already 8 minutes behind my pace at that point, but wanted to try to get my pace back up, and only finish 8 minutes later than I wanted.I kept looking for another potty, and the only other one had a massive line too. I had NO clue how I was going to finish like this haha. FINALLY once in the infield at Churchill Downs, the bathrooms were open!!!! It added a few minutes onto my time, but I had to stop =(. Once I got out of Churchill Downs, I kept waiting to see my baby boy and parents.....but I never found them where they said they'd be. Turns out they had a flat tire ( my dad ran over something when he dropped us off). Once I got to 8 miles, I knew that's that farthest I had run, and that was my 'goal'. I did NOT want to walk as much as I did, but I did the best I could. The last 2 miles were MISERABLE! I thought FOR SURE I had missed the 12 mile marker, and there was NO way that mile was THAT Long. haha AND THE HILL at the end was killer! Some guy was like " WWWHHHYYYY DDDIIIIDD THEY PUT A HILL RRIIIGGGHHHTT HHERRREEE???", and it gave us all a good laugh at the end. There were so many turns, and when I thought we were almost done, we went up another block and turned again.The worst part was--seeing a ton of people already walking back to their cars with their medals! FINALLY, I saw a mile 26 marker for the full, and knew .2 left, and I need to kick it up to finish. Well, I turned the corner, saw the finish, and took off. THEN I got like 20 steps away from the finish and thought I would die. haha Seriously, I finished 20 minutes later than I wanted to , and am embarrassed of my time, compared to others that I know who ran it. THEN I think, I've always hated running, and I have ALWAYS been slow! With taking a few minutes off for my bathroom break, and calf stretching a few during the last 4 miles, I finished right around 2 1/2 hours. At least that's a starting point! And the next time I run one, I will have a time to beat. I'll try to get at least 1 or 2 more weeks of training in, so my body doesn't die at mile 10. I will also run with someone hopefully. I think it would make a world of difference running with someone, and also having people cheer along the way for me. MAYBE I can get Luke to do one with me! ! !Let me know if there's any good half-marathons coming up! In the meantime, I'm hoping to be running some 5ks with some friends. The best part of the day was after I was over the stomach sickness, and Amanda was done throwing up ( I think we ate bad food!) I ordered some Papa John's thin crust!!!! YUUMMY! After burning like 1500 calroies, who cares what you eat!

Amanda after finishing.

To finish is to win!

I officially signed up last week for the Derby Mini Marathon! I only have 39 days now left to train, so I won't be worrying about my time at all this time around. I will only be pushing to run 8 miles, and if I have to walk the rest, I'll be OK with it. I'm hoping since I know the course so well (not from running it, but driving it so much growing up) it'll be easier for me to just keep running! I just need to get past the two hills in the first 2 miles. If you want to come cheer me on, check out this page for suggestions.


I think maybe also you could park at my grandpa's shop and walk over to 4th street. I read somewhere that there are texts you can receive on updates to where your runner is at. For those not familiar with the race/course,here it is.

You can also look at the route here.


On another note, Landon had his 15 month check-up last week. He is 20 1/2 pounds, almost 31 inches tall, and I forget what his head is! His weight is back above his curve ( which is 3%, and he is now 5th I think), his height is still 31%--like it was at 12 months, and his head is like 15%. His Dr. said he seems to be very verbally advanced, that makes me happy. I had been worried a few months ago that he wasn't talking like other kids his age. Of course, it was after he was around a girl his age, and everyone knows girls do things sooner. He said the fact that he can say 'eye' and point to an eye is great. Landon has been LOVING swimming lessons.He goes underwater perfectly, he is trying to float on his back, can hold onto the edge of the pool by himself and climb out, and can jump in from the side holding onto my hands. Luke doesn't have to work tomorrow morning, so he is going to take a few pictures for me. I'll try to post them tomorrow!