Ella Ruth is 3!

 3 years ago! My baby is growing up.

A lot of people say they have no clue what they would be doing without their children. I, quite actually, know if Ella Ruth was not here that we would be doing a LOT less cleaning. We wouldn't be vacuuming and mopping the dining area multiple times a day, we wouldn't be watching a TV with smudgy fingerprints ( and sometimes crayon) on it, we wouldn't be cleaning up bits of paper from the suburban ( everyday), we wouldn't be taking socks and shoes in after every drive, and we wouldn't be waking multiple times a night by her crying or climbing into our bed.

BUT we also wouldn't be laughing so much. This little girl is so funny. She says the craziest things, and she knows she is funny. She constantly laughs, even when she is in trouble. And she says things when it is absolutely inappropriate. And we absolutely laugh when we shouldn't. She is a very sneaky little girl, and she keeps us on our toes. She is what they call everything I never knew I wanted.

 

She turned 3 the day before Thanksgiving, and we celebrated on Saturday night with Landon ( he will be 7 THREE days, and if you see him, he will ask you if you know what happens then).

This is from her 1st birthday =)
 

 

 

Big girl turning 2!

Happy 3rd!

WE HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD!

Oh sweet Lucy, how much you have changed in the past year. Little by little I've seen worries and fears, that I've had since you worn born, fade away. Your 3 year old check-up last week was the first one we've been to where everything was perfect! Nothing was growing too big, nothing was too little, and there were no developmental delays still showing. Your percentages in height and weight are COMPLETELY average, right under 50%! Mommy has been crying all week. I've been thinking about the day you were born. I've been thinking about ringing the bell to get to see you everyday, and then scrubbing in, and then walking to your bedside. I missed you so much, and just wanted you home with us. I still sometimes get so sad when I think about you not being in our home for almost 8 weeks. I never realized what all I missed out on until I had Ella and got to cuddle and snuggle with her all day long. I love that you snuggle with me every night now. I love that you ask me to rock you. I love that you can just sit still and be with me now. I love that you can talk. I love that you can eat food. I love that you love make-up ( even if you continue to sneak in and ruin mine). I love how you say things are gorgeous and beautiful. I love your voice. I love your soft hair. I love your long little fingers. You are getting such a personality! You love to make up jokes, and the answer is always ' Because he ate baby food'. You are so cute. You are so smart. You love to mimic Landon word for word just about EVERYTHING he says or sings. You love to dance with mommy. You love to play with your babies and animals in your bed. I love how you line them up on your crib rail and make-believe with them. I don't know how you actually fit into your bed because you have so many animals in there! Right now, you love to have your Ariel blanket draped over your bed as a tent. I love getting it ready every nap and bed time. You are an amazing baby girl. You are my baby girl. I am forever grateful for you. I am forever grateful for everyone who loved on us and prayed for you after you were born. I'm so thankful you get to be a big sister. You love Ella so much. You are starting to have friends, and love to play with them. You love to give hugs. I love to watch your eyes light up when you get excited. I love the crazy face you make when you scrunch up one side of your nose and squint that one eye. You make us laugh. You are so sneaky, even when we are watching you, you pretend that we can't see you. You currently are going to marry Holden {at the Y} and Lincoln {at our farm}. We will figure that one out later ;) I love you. More than you will know. You have taught us so many things in the past 3 years. You are amazing. I'm trying my best, and will continue to get better at being your mommy. I will keep trying to see the good, and forget about any bad that we've been through. I will continue to give thanks for answers to the prayers I said over and over before I laid you in bed every night. I have never felt so strongly as I do about never wanting anything bad to ever happen to you. I will do everything I can to protect you. I'm so proud of you. You are becoming an incredible little lady ( but when I call you little lady, you state I AM NOT LITTLE LADY,  I AM LUCY!) You love to help. I can't wait to see how you will bless others as you grow. I know you will do great things! You are so sweet. You make my heart happy. I am so in love with you. I don't know what I would do without you. You are truly a miracle. Please stay little, and don't grow up too quickly.

I love you, Emmy Loo!

 

 

 

Skipping months!

I just realized that I skipped posting Ella's 10 & 11 month pictures with the chalkboard! After her party, we've still been going full speed ahead. The other two are having their party tomorrow! We had family pictures taken(I'm so excited to see them!), celebrated Thanksgiving, have been buying gifts to deliver to the NICU, making birthday party invitations, we've gotten the trees up, we've gone to our 3&5 year appointments ( I have a 5 year old now!!!!), and we've been opening a new book every night as part of our Advent celebration. BUT I did take pictures of sweet Ella the last 2 months with her board!

 

 

I didn't take a one year one. We did use the chalkboard at her party & then at her 1 year pictures, just like we used it to tell everyone we were expecting at about 17 weeks.

I can't believe how small they were! And I can't believe I have a 1,2, &5 year old right now!

I've got to go work on some more cupcake mermaid tails, a real mermaid tail, and clean up the house before some more company comes in for the party!

(no parties next year!)

 

 

One Year!

 

 

 

 

 

Sweet Ella,

        

        In just a few short minutes you'll have been here for an entire year! You have taught us so many things during your short 37 weeks in my belly and 12 months in our home. I've never felt such an immediate love and overwhelming feeling for a person until you came along. Mommy and Daddy were so scared and so worried when we found out we would be having another baby. We tracked every single day you were in my belly, and we were so thankful for every milestone we hit with you. We wanted nothing but the best outcome, and were so relieved after you were here and you had been laying on me for a few hours. You were an answer to our prayers and an absolute miracle in more ways than one.

     You are so loving. You would let us hold you all day. I think this is why you can't walk yet, and you don't seem to be interested in it either. When I am at the gym working out, more than half of the time someone is holding you. You will snuggle in anyone's arms. And everyone loves to hold you too! You have loved to let me hold you and smoosh your face against mine. You still do it some, and I love it. You slept swaddled at night until around 7 months old. We wrapped you tight, stuck that paci in, and you'd tuck your face into my arms and fall asleep as I swayed back and forth. Then you always wanted to hold on tight to our arm as we rocked you to sleep. I hope that you will always find this comfort in us. It is an indescribable feeling to know that I can provide this for you. You finally have just let me hold you upright like a big girl before bed. You like me to rock you now while you lay your face on me and wrap your tiny arms around me the best that you can. You are amazing.

    You have taught Landon how to be more protective. He is so proud of you! His face lit up the first time he saw you in the hospital, and it still does EVERY time he sees you! Lucy has grown so much since you have been with us. She loves to rock, hold, and kiss her babies like I do you. She loves you so much. I love that you have made her a big sister. She tries to sing her song to you any time she hears you cry, and she will do whatever she can to calm you down. I love to watch her love you.

    I can't wait to see you grow! You are such a happy and laid back baby, but yet you cry more than your siblings EVER did. We don't have that one quite figured out yet. You have brought us such joy, but you have brought me many more sleepless nights as well. You are just so sweet that all the crying and staying awake don't even matter.

     You have taught me so many things about life. You have taught me that I can feed, bathe,(nurse 1), and put 3 kids to sleep by myself multiple days a week and not go completely crazy. You have taught me a little bit of patience. You have taught me how nothing is in our timing or our plans.You have taught me how to let some things go, and I hope to keep getting better at things for you.

     I love your big blue eyes. I love that dimple on your left cheek, it was the first thing I noticed about you in the operating room. I love how dark your hair was when you were born, but is still getting lighter by the day. I love your frown. When you get very upset, you slowly start to frown with your tiny little mouth until it turns into a scream. I love how when you are so upset and crying, I can pick you up and you feel so safe and loved that you immediately stop.  I love how excited you get about so many things. You are absolutely adorable.You really saw snow today for the first time--on your birthday-- and your eyes were amazing! You are amazing.

    I could write you a book about how much I love you, but you have two older siblings who seem to always need me too. I have tried to divide my love between the three of you. I wish I could have spent more time with just you this year, but you were perfectly happy in your swing or bouncy seat or jumper when I needed to deal with your brother and sister. I pray that I have given you everything you have needed this past year. We love you so much! Please stay little and sweet forever!

               Love,

                Mommy

 

 

 

 

 

Ella's birth

Going back a month and a few days to when I had sweet Ella Ruth....

I was admitted into the hospital Friday the 23rd & by Sunday I had figured out I wasn't leaving until I had the baby. She had been doing fine on all the monitoring( and I was bored OUT OF MY MIND). There was just one time on Saturday night I had to stay hooked up a few extra minutes to the NST because her heart rate dropped too low, but she recovered & looked fine. On Sunday morning I had another ultrasound. Ella ran out of time to get all of her movements & kicks in, so she didn't get 8/8 on the biophysical profile. This was the first time for that. My fluid had also dropped a little below 5cm as well. The nurse got all the details from the ultrasound and called the doctor on-call. The doctor was one I hadn't seen before, of course.
My sister had stayed the night again so she could go to the ultrasound with me & try to decide whether to hit the road back to Orlando or not. We both assumed this meant baby would be coming that day, and she was waiting around to see the baby before she went home. When Luke came up to the hospital, he asked my nurse if she had heard yet from the doctor. She said she had called him and had seen him, but he was delivering and would come see us when he was done. She thought he said most likely no baby, but I'd be staying.  What a huge let down. I'm ALL for keeping the baby in past 39 weeks. I know all the details of when what parts finish developing, and I've seen everything in the NICU. I'm a full supporter of March of Dimes. I also have been close to death from HELLP. And I also had a 5 lb 10 oz baby with no fluid at all at 38 weeks. I just wanted a safe delivery & was praying we would all be healthy as well.
The doctor came in shortly after. He said he didn't have too much knowledge on all the studies on oligohydramnios. He had looked up some more studies before he came in, and most of them said once you hit 5 ,to deliver. We're not too sure where this number came from or why 5cm is the considered the cut off. He also believed that as close as you can get to 39 weeks is better. So after discussing NICU, healthy preemie babies, unhealthy term babies, past issues, and everything else, he left it up to us to decide!
In the back of my head, I was still thinking about BP. I didn't want to keep her in and then the pre-e kick in. I also didn't want this c-section to be emergency like the previous 2. If the fluid dropped too low, it could cause that. I also knew that with constant IV and bedrest, the fluid was not going up or even staying the same.So even though she was not even 38 weeks ( 37 is term) and every day makes a difference, we chose to take her out before anything else could happen. 
Since I had eaten breakfast, anesthesia  said we needed to wait until 6PM. So I had to sit & wait for about  2 hours until I headed back to triage at 4PM. The nurses in antepartum had been great. They were so friendly and caring. The nurses from Friday in triage had been the same way. Both of those areas were great ! I honestly think they saw my chart and freaked out, and that's the main reason they wanted me hanging around. We heard them say SHE SEIZED a million times. We would overhear them at shift change or when a new doctor would see me. We had to go over the previous 2 births so many times.   I cant imagine having to do this after losing a child or having a still birth.
 Once I finally got to triage, we had about 2 hours until the c-section. This was the longest two hours I can remember sitting through. I didn't want to think about the spinal or surgery or even dealing with 3 kids. I was still in denial that I was having baby #3 =) We hadn't even really talked or thought about what she would look like! I was trying not to think about pre-e or HELLP happening after delivery. I was honestly trying to think of how to get out of there and not deal with surgery. And then 6:00 rolled around and the doctor was in with a mom who was pushing. I had my anti-biotics and heartburn medicine in my IV, motion sickness patch, & a shot of sour grape medicine to keep me from throwing up. I didn't have any of the anti-sickness meds with the other 2. I think the nurse said it was just in case-- since I ate earlier. 
 I also had to walk this time to the OR. With Landon I was rolled in a bed, and with Lucy I was rolled pushed in the bed as fast as humanly possible. I still was NOT thinking about surgery, but realized I was not getting out of it. I don't know why I was so anxious about the spinal this time. The nurse asked me the entire 2.5 hours in triage what I was nervous about, so I guess it was obvious. I don't like bending over a pillow and not being able to see what's going on. It doesn't hurt, just the small sting, but I don't like it.  I am ticklish in that back area, and I don't want to jump, and I did. Maybe that's how I ended up with the spinal headache? 
As soon as I sat on the table one of the nurses came in and cranked up the Christmas music, and they started on the spinal, put the drape up, cleaned my belly, pinched me a few times, and called the doctor in to get started! We didn't have any complications during surgery. I remember the doctor saying something about 'very low', & I assumed they meant my scar. But there was no issues with it. Every doctor and nurse compliments my scar (kinda weird), and I'm never sure if it really is done well or if they just want me feel better about having one. Before too long they pulled her out, she screamed and screamed,the tears were flowing, they brought her to the side for me to see, and then she was off to get checked out across the room and daddy followed her. There was only one time that we really talked about what she might look like, and it was with Landon. He said she would have green eyes and red hair--too much Brave? So while in tirage, to get my mind off the nervousness, Luke starts looking up about red heads, and the zodiac sign ( whatever that's called) for her birthday, and we convince ourselves she will be a red head! Well, my baby came out with DARK DARK hair!

6 pounds and 3 ounces--biggest baby of our 3, and only dropped down to about 5 pounds and 13 ounces. While Luke was over with the baby and the nurses, I could hear the tones change from the voices on the other side of the drape.  Then they started talking with the anesthesiologist and telling him that he needed to get it ready, and then a few seconds later to go ahead. He then gave me a shot in my shoulder ( warned me first) and added something to each IV. He said something about my uterus not contracting and that it's common after multiple babies. He stood up and watched over the drape for a few minutes. I have no clue what happened or what shot I got. I know they usually give you pitocin to help it start to contract back down, but that was put into the IV bag. I guess I'll ask at my appointment next week. I do remember they said there was minimal bleeding though.

Luke brought the baby over after that, they sewed me up, moved me to the other bed, and rolled me off to recovery. I had the option to do skin to skin in the operating room-- I was asked about it in triage right before, and it totally threw me off. I didn't know I had that option, and I thought I'd not mentally be wanting to hold the baby during surgery and there just might be too much going on for me. So, I said no. And I made sure the nurse didn't think I was a bad mom for saying that. She seemed to give the impression that it's a newer thing that they do, and it was TOTALLY fine with them if I said no. I'm sure it's more of a hassle to change things up in the OR, and they are use to not doing it. There is my Ella Ruth story. The annoyance with the nurses/hospital experience came with the next few days. I'm sure I'll get around to that soon enough!
Back to packing up the house.........
But first, a look at those hospital pictures. Obviously, I didn't buy them, but here are the previews of some:









Isn't it CRAZY how quickly they change?

A few things. . .

{Some new Pumas}

My pink Nike shocks and my other pink shoes have been worn out , and have grass stains on them from cutting it. That only leaves me with my running shoes--which are for running and working out.

{maternity skinny jeans}

I was looking at websites ( a pea in the pod, pickles and ice cream...), and i can't believe people will pay the same amount of $ for a double stroller as they will for a pair of jeans they will wear for like 6 months! So, Motherhood Maternity $34 skinny jeans will work for me. But this picture is of the jeans that were close to $200. And yes, my regular jeans still fit me perfectly fine for now =) But i know it will happen sooner or later!

{pink terry hoodie}

I need something pink to cover the belly.To match the shoes.

My birthday is in about 20 days if you feel like spending some money. =)